"Sexual chemistry; is actually the part that is better left to develop last..." - M. Goredema, 2019
Sexual chemistry... A. K. A Physical attraction... A. K. A LUST. those three are pretty much the same aren't they? This week I'd like us to chew on the question of how important "chemistry" is when it comes to dating or considering someone as a potential partner.
I pulled the opening quote from this week's contribution from Munya whose post reflects on the idea of the friendzone and "chemistry".
How many times have we heard or even said the phrase "I don't see him/her like that?". For me I'd say I've heard it far too many times to count, not only have I heard it but I've been on the side of the fence where I was the very person saying those words. Someone was pursuing me but I felt that "spark" missing. Somehow I got over that but as the relationship progressed I found myself still questioning whether this was normal, wondering, "So if we get married are there going to be no 'sparks'"? Who wants a "sparkless" marriage when that is the very space where Godly sexual intimacy is supposed to flourish?!
Reading through Munya's post a few weeks ago brought this experience back to the forefront alongside the plea in Songs of Solomon not to prematurely awaken "love". Which brought me to the questions - why is it that even as Christians we've come to a point where we often glamorise lust and put it high on the list of important things to look for in a potential partner? Sure we call it "chemistry" but is that really what it is? Why did I in the past almost obsess over the idea of there not being a "spark" instead of embracing the fact that I wasn't spending my time trying to flee from lustful thoughts because we were allowing that part of the relationship to remain "asleep". Not to say attraction isn't important but should we really be basing a decision as important as who we marry on the question of whether someone gets us all hot and bothered? I think not. Such a person isn't necessarily the best person for you. Decisions on why we marry and who to marry need to go way beyond that if we are to have stable marriages. And with that I leave you to chew on the post below on the "friendzone" and if you still want to deep deeper go on and read through the second one on waiting to awaken love.
https://prisonerofhopezimbabwe.wordpress.com/2019/11/24/the-friendzone/
Desiringgod.org/articles/waiting-to-awaken-love
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