“Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.” (Psalms 127:4 NIV)
I’ll be the first to tell you that parenting is grueling stuff. I’m convinced that motherhood in particular is an art on its own, an art that takes years to perfect – if ever! How do I know this? I was one of those kids… A handful! I certainly didn’t make parenting easy for my mother and yet she dug her heels in and did the best she possibly could. Although I always tell her that I'll probably never agree with some of her strategies (yes mum to this day haha!) I do appreciate that it was all from a place of love. Love that kept and still keeps her seeking the very best for me, advising, rebuking, encouraging, redirecting. Love that kept and constantly keeps her on her knees for me, then and now still.
From my mother I have learnt to pray earnestly and to seek after God. I can honestly say from where I'm standing if I could pray even half as fervently as she does, I know come what may my children and my family will be ok. From her I have also learnt to love. Love unconditionally, love whole heartedly. I have learnt to look inwardly and be honest about my shortcomings, to bring them to the light and address them instead of allowing pride to rule. Lastly, I have learnt not to dwell on the past but look towards the future, to be resilient, industrious, patient and hopeful! If today was her last day on earth I would tell her that I hope I grow up to be half the woman she is and that life will not be the same without her covering. And if for some reason she were to wake up having lost her memory I would remind her of the unfiltered conversations we’ve had and the moments spent in prayer together; the special meals she’s made; the way she served me meal after meal whilst I sat in the lounge around the clock in the weeks leading up to my thesis submission; the scarves, booties, dresses, skirts and a bunch of other things she devoted her time to making for me over the years. All out of love. (P.S. another pair of booties would be great, winter is here!). These are just some of the ways in which a mother can impact a life even if the relational journey is not perfect.
Knowing I wasn’t alone in feeling so indebted to my mother, I asked some friends to share some mother-daughter stories to acknowledge the amazing role that mothers can play in the lives of their children. The effect of a positive mother-child relationship truly does go a long way and should not be underestimated.
“Train up a child in the way he should go and even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22: 6)
On behalf of the daughters featured here, the “arrows” you have released out into the world, today we honour you and say you are loved! All your efforts have not gone unnoticed and we hope we have made you proud and will continue to do so.
For mothers to be, may this give you something to look forward to in the future. And for the mothers who keep their distance, may this encourage you to bridge the gap. There’s so much to be enjoyed from a close relationship with your daughters. We yearn for it!
“Women intimately partner with God as they bear and raise children…They are to be carefully aimed and propelled, for they will not easily miss their marks. We are promised that, by raising them in the way they should go, they will be more inclined to hit the target of their destiny in God when they are grown” – Lisa Bevere
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The most important thing I have learnt from my mum is to love the Lord and seek Him in every circumstance. I will eternally be grateful to my mom for teaching me about God because there have been times where my faith in Him has been all that I could cling to in certain situations. She also taught me the importance of education and investing in myself before focusing on marriage and kids etc. If today was her last day I would tell her that I will always love her and I could never have been who I am today without her. I would thank her for forgiving me every time I disappointed her and I would thank her for supporting me during the times when life didn’t pan out for me as I thought it would. I would also apologize for the fact that I never gave her any grandbabies 😬😂 If she was to wake up having lost her memory I would show her the photo of her and I when I was a toddler, that was taken in the corridor of our old house. It’s one of our favorite photos of us. I would then show her all our other photos together over the years and try to prompt her memory through them.
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The most important thing I’ve learnt from mum is love yourself before you go out loving other people. I always used to put others first because I like seeing people happy but I used to do this at my expense so mum stepped in with advice which has made me happier and healthier, I'm at peace with myself.
If today was her last day I would tell her, I love you mum and I will always do my best to make you proud.
If she was to wake up having lost her memory the first thing I would remind her of is our last (December 2019) road trip to Zim. It was our first time both driving on the trip, it was more of a girl's trip, most of our stories were unfiltered. She gave me advice and surprisingly I also gave her good advice, we prayed together and generally looked out for each other the whole time.
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The most important thing I have learnt from my mum has to be resilience. I’ve never met anyone who’s beaten all the odds that were stacked against her like she has. She keeps going forward no matter what. I have the same spirit now, to always keep going.
If today was her last day I would ask her to stay a little longer. Literally. I don’t see anything else I’d say. Maybe I love her and that I was going to die without her lol
If she woke up having lost her memory the first story I would share is of the day we moved to our own place in 1998. We used to stay with my grandparents since I was born up until I was 5 when she got her own house and it was theeeee most amazing day ever. We were both so happy and I feel like that was the beginning of her winning at this life thing.
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The most important thing I’ve learnt from my mum is resilience - my mother taught me never to give up on myself or other people. As a child I watched her go to get her degree in nursing when I was in high school and watched her eventually become a matron at her hospital which is the highest nurse rank in any hospital. She often said “bhuku hariuraye” and never accepted failure from us. She would go out of her way to find us tutors when we were failing in school and encouraged us to always trust God and His purpose for us which was for us to succeed. She is a prayer warrior who is very committed to prayer times and waking up in the wee hours to talk to God. She always taught me to never give up on the people we love.
If today was her last day I would tell her I love you and thank you. You ran a good race Mom. You touched many lives with your desire to see other people succeed and helped many people become educated, employed and better versions of themselves. You have loved are loved and your efforts have not gone unnoticed. Thank you for raising me to be the God fearing woman I am who knows that she can do anything she sets her mind to do.
If she woke up having lost her memory I would remind her of the times we spent every year at camp meeting praying. She would wake me up early in the morning at midnight and at 4am to pray. I really didn’t always want to because I loved my sleep, but she often reminded me to know why I am here and what I came for. So we would pray that whole week, every year for over 15 years of my life. And every time, our prayers were answered.
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The most important thing I have learnt from my mum is a woman is capable of doing anything & a man doesn't define you.
If today was her last day I would tell her thank you for being mama vangu & for not giving up on me.
If ever she lost her memory I would tell her how she is more of a BFF to us 'her kids' that we are so dependent on each other, it becomes difficult to make friendship with other people outside our family. She is the cheerleader, security guard, mentor, mother Christmas...ever available day & night. Being everything she is needed to be at that exact point & time. Also she's the best cook so she better remember those recipes!
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Most important thing Mama taught me is that a good wife is the backbone of the entire household. Your house will either flourish or fail based on the type of woman you present yourself as If today was her last day I would tell her thank you for always fighting for me and for always praying for me even when I deserved it the least. If she was to ever lose her memory I can’t pick just one thing to tell her there is just so much but I would tell her about how she taught me to pray even when I was most stubborn about it and that I am the woman I am because of who she was in my life.
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The most important thing I have learnt from my mother is to love and have a big heart.
If today was her last day, I would her thank you for your unconditional love, thank you for looking out for what's best for me. You are truly God sent. You came into our lives and showered us with love, discipline, and joy.
If she were to wake up having lost her memory, I would bring her proteas (her favourite flower cause she got them one mother's Day) and the first story I would tell her is about when she first noticed me in church... I was in grade 4 and Sunday school was presenting something. I was reciting John 3 verse 16. I clearly remember I was wearing this cream short and jacket which was supposed to be white. When she retells the story and embraces me she says when she saw me she thought to herself who's child is this who is fluent in English but looks filthy. Only to find out I belonged to the guy who was asking her out.
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The most important thing I have learnt from my mum is to be strong, to pray and to hold my own.
If today was her last day would I even find the words to say to her? Maybe just to say I wish we had more time. If I had to choose I’d have chosen her as my mum all over again given the chance.
If she woke up having lost her memory I'd tell her about a time things were soo difficult and it was just the two of us ..striving to make ends meet.. and then me getting a scholarship and that was a ray of hope for us.
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Thank you